I know it's been a while, and for this I apologise, but thankfully the Zombie Apocalypse hasn't begun, but I do have my plans in place for if the resurrection of the dead begins whilst at home so I present to you:
Situation #2 - Zombie Apocalypse happens when at home
Picture this:
You're sat at home, it's 6pm, you're watching The Simpsons and the broadcast is interrupted to tell you that there is a major pandemic spreading across the UK, you look out the window and notice the local scallies looking even more dead to the world, but this time ripping the flesh out of someone's stomach at the other end of the street.
The reality hits you that "oh shit, those scumbags aren't mugging an old lady... again... but their North Face jackets and Lowe Alpine hats are actually splattered in blood and the little bastards are actually eating that person!"
So, what do you do?!
Well, to begin with, make sure ALL your doors and windows are locked so those baldy headed little rats can't get in, keep as quiet as you can, and pack some bags.
If you have a dog, it could be hard to keep them quiet, but not to worry because dogs APPARENTLY can't be infected by the vast majority of infections etc that create the living dead, so when leaving the house, you send the dog first (more of this later).
Anyways... if I was at home, I would be in the situation of having to immediately think about myself, my girlfriend (the awesome Beccy) and our dog, Jaz.
First port of call - grab a back pack each.
Now, we do have a massive one from camping, but then this could pose the problem of packing too much stuff, so you have to think.
Big bag for lots of supplies, or smaller bag for ESSENTIALS and then find other supplies elsewhere?
Well, I personally think we would take one big backpack, and one small one.
The big one would come in handy to fill with the lighter things such as food, a change of underwear (because no doubt it will be brown trousers time at some point!), a torch or two, and some other essentials (read on for more info).
The smaller one would be used as a first aid kit... fill it with plasters, antiseptic cream, bandages and a hacksaw (just incase some limbs need to be hacked off if bitten), essentials such as a screw driver and some knives and water supplies in here.
After collecting a few essentials, I would get the internet on, or use my mobile phone, and google "how to hot wire a car". But if internet and mobile phone systems are down, I would have to just improvise and get a screwdriver into the key cylinder and hope for the best!
Just on a sidenote ... I never understood how on zombie films that as soon as the outbreak occurs, apparently all mobile communications and internet communications go down. I could only REALLY see this happening after the systems all fall into disrepair which I'd presume would take a while, so, I'm planning this with the foresight that communications ARE STILL WORKING. If not, it's not the end of the world!
so, anyway, after packing one backpack with first aid, a small tool kit and water, and the other with some light clothing, a blanket for the night time, a lighter, some candles and some knives (handy for melee weapons and picking locks, cutting things open etc), the next step is to decide "should I stay, or should I go".
Home seems like the safe place to stay, but soon enough you will want to go after loved ones etc. so my advice would be: check outside, see if there is a vehicle nearby, and if there is, get a wire coat hanger, bend it out straight, get your dog ready, wait for the coast to be clear and LEG IT!
If the coast doesn't look clear enough but you feel the urge to go, then the answer is - DOG FIRST.
Dogs still have their animal instinct, they want to protect their owners, they want to protect themselves, and they can definitely smell who is scum! so if you can't get down your path, send the dog to distract the living dead as he/she can probably run alot faster than you (and them for that matter) and call them back once you get into that locked car!
As I'm not the owner of a car, but do know (sort of) how to drive, I know the advantages of a car. So if I couldn't get hold of any of my mates who can drive, I'd break into the nearest car with Beccy and Jaz, and get the hell out of there as quick as I could.
Now I know parents are important, but my mum and her husband drive, so I can call them, get them to get into their car and wait at their home for me to arrive.
First port of call - Beccy's mum. I reckon she'd be quite good in a zombie apocalypse.. I dunno why, but I just think she'd have some good fight in her!
Then it would be off to my mums house to meet up with her.
I would contact a few friends (Pandave, Allen, Ian, Alex, Gary) and see how they're getting on.
Pandave has a samurai sword, so he's in! he has zombie apocalypse plans and would be a brilliant person to have along for the ride! Ian has prior knowledge of zombies, not quite as extensive as my own, but could definitely get creative with some weapons. Plus he has a dog and SJ drives, so more transport and more fire power!
Allen drives and I reckon could get a good swing on a baseball bat, Alex would be good to sort out food and I reckon he'd be pretty sick with a chainsaw! And I think Gary would know some weird and wonderful places out in the middle of nowhere that we could get to and hide out! Plus, 3 out of the 4 of those people own cars ... score!
So I'd gather up some friends and family (safety in numbers people!)
So the main plan when you're stuck at home is get some essentials, get in a car and get the fuck away from civilisation!! stopping occassionally along the way to try n steal some free petrol, some free supplies and see if there is anymore news of the situation and about military safehouses.
I just read most that back and don't know much sense it makes, but in a nut shell... if a zombie apocalypse breaks out at home... get supplies, get into a car, and get to the middle of nowhere! less people = less zombies :)
On a slightly lighter note, I do think that if I was to come up against a roadblock of zombies, the soundtrack for killing them would have to be Four Year Strong turned up full blast booming out of the car whilst wielding baseball bats and axes, smashing in zombie brains :) namely this tune here because I think it would be awesome for the beginning of a zombie killing extravaganza:
and if Four Year Strong wasn't available to play, I think Raining Blood by Slayer would be a more than ample music choice for such an occasion :)
****Disclaimer : any people who have not been mentioned in this blog, my apologies go out to you... this either means I would trust in Beccy to contact you whilst I contacted other people (namely Faye as I know you would have skills to pay the bills in a zombie attack), there are just too many people to mention or I may just think you'd become zombie fodder in the first 24 hours. I don't want to blow any of my friends brains out, so if I think you're gonna get bitten and become a liability... you're gettin left behind****
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