Heavy...

So, I haven't updated this thing since November 2011. Now that's a long time!
But my reason for updating today is because of a documentary I watched on Netflix last night called "Bully".

As you can probably guess, it's a documentary about bullying in schools in America.
Bullying is a subject I don't take lightly and is something that just disgusts me in the fact that people don't seem to know right from wrong, or understand the hurt and pain they are causing someone.
I was bullied for pretty much my entire school life... getting called "fag" and "gay" because, and this was their reasoning even in senior school, it was because I had spiked hair. And also the fact I was alternative and didn't wear tracksuits or listen to terrible dance music and I wasn't particularly interested in stupid sports like football, but instead was interested in art, skateboarding, pop punk and heavy metal.
I got a lot of verbal abuse but thankfully never anything physical as these were just always idle threats.

Needless to say, I left school and although I went through a phase of drinking every weekend and getting stoned (all up until the age of about 18 when I discovered hardcore and the straight edge movement), at least I went into higher education, got myself a job and now live a happy life with my fiancee whilst a lot of the people from my year in school went on to have children within a year or so of leaving school and/or spent time in prison.

But anyway, I digress... this documentary, Bully, was an emotional movie to watch.
It focused on a couple of families, but the ones that really concerned me and hit me the hardest were the two families whose sons had committed suicide (one aged 14, one only 11) due to bullying and the other family whose son got bullied because he was a little skinnier than the other kids, wore glasses, looked a bit geeky and didn't quite fit in.

The kid who took his life when he was 11 actually done so with his fathers hand gun because the mental and physical abuse he was receiving in school was that harsh, he couldn't take it anymore.
The filmmaker took the opportunity to speak to his friend who, even though he was only 11 or 12, said he used to bully kids in third grade, then he got to fourth grade (so he was around 10) and realised what he was doing was wrong. Then he hit fifth grade and said he realised that hurting someone is not nice and everyone is a person and deserves to be treated equally. He even said "if I was king of America, I would make it so that everyone was equal and no one got bullied because everyone is the same". Now, that is coming from a kid! no older than 12!

And what do we have in this society? Especially in Liverpool?
Kids as young as 8 or 9 thinking it's ok to threaten people with guns, thinking it's ok to throw things at people who aren't wearing tracksuits/oversized North Face jackets/have skinheads/wear those stupid hats with the flappy ears on them.
Me and my fiancee even had something thrown at us today when we got off the train by 3 kids who were about 11 years old, dressed like idiots in those stupid sweatpants style tracksuit bottoms with matching sweatshirts that make them look like they're wearing a baby grow!

The next kid I'm going to talk about is Alex Libby. He was the kid who didn't quite fit in.
One of the first things you see of him is him waiting for the school bus and two other boys from his school are stood together, messing about, already hitting one another. Then Alex turns up and they turn on him. One telling him he shouldn't even think about walking anywhere because he will take out a knife and stab him if he tries.
Now, something tells me that this doesn't seem like a very nice thing to say.

But then that was just the tip of the iceberg.
There were shots of young Alex pacing around the playground on his own, sitting at lunch on his own, no one talking to him. And even they did it was only to say something mean.
Then the truth started to come out.
In school he had his head slammed into walls and lockers, he was pushed to the ground, called names, hit for no reason and then even on his bus journey to and from school there was more and more abuse.

Kids would punch him, stab him with pencils and reach around his seat and choke him.
The filmmakers decided it was in his best interest to share the footage they had seen with Alex's family and his teachers in school. Now, this is where it got heart wrenching for me.
Alex was sat at the table with his mum, her asking him why he hadn't told her about the severity of this and saying to him "but these kids are meant to be your friends" to which he sat silent for a few seconds and replied "so, if they're meant to be my friends, then how many friends do I really have?"

He almost started crying, his mum was crying and I was holding back the tears myself due to the fact that no one should have to go through any of the things this poor kid has been going through. Getting strangled and being told by the other kids "you're my bitch" and "you're a little bitch, you're a pussy" and he had no one there to stand up for him because he got so used to taking the abuse that he even said himself "I just feel numb, I don't think I even feel it anymore".
How is it ok for someone to be THAT used to bullying that they don't really pay attention to it anymore and just allow it to happen?

His mum and dad went to the school to speak to a woman who deals with such issues in the school and they were just told "well, the school bus is notoriously a dangerous place, but I've ridden on that route and the kids were good as gold."

So, what she's saying is "what do you want me to do about it? you know it's dangerous and you know it's going to happen."

But it should not be like that!

The kids responsible got a bit of a telling off and Alex was called to the principals office and asked if he trusted them to deal with the issue. He told them he didn't trust them due to an incident when a kid lifted up the seat on the bus, shoved his head under it, and sat on it.
You know what the principal's response was?
Principal: "Well, I did speak to him about that incident, and did he do it again?"
Alex: "No.."
Principal: *silence*
Alex: "But he done other stuff after that"
Principal: "But he didn't do that again did he?"

What a disgrace! The kid that done it should be forced to take classes on his own, or at least not be allowed out on breaks so he cannot mix with the children he is bullying. All the kids found to be bullying should be separated, refused access to the playground during break times and all made to go on a bus filled with them.

This documentary really upset me in the fact that these kids who are bullying others think that, even at such a young age, it is ok to disrespect other people and hurt them, their property and even their families.
How can you feel good about putting someone else down?
Why do you think it is ok to take something that is not yours?
How can you feel it is ok to push someone so far that they consider taking their own life just to get away from it all?

This obviously doesn't just happen in the states, but happens a lot over here in the UK too, and especially here in Liverpool where a culture has been bred to the point that people think abuse (physical and mental), drugs, stealing and even murder is ok and it is ok to promote that to the youth in society.

It pains me to think that these children are the future of our world.

People try to blame video games and movies, but that doesn't wash with me!
I watched Nightmare On Elm Street when I was 12, Evil Dead 2 when I was 13 along with the likes of Childsplay and Friday the 13th and I don't think I've turned out too bad!

People shouldn't have to be scared to leave the house, ride the bus, or the train or even drive their cars. People shouldn't have to be scared about walking down the street. Criminals should not be given new lives, new identities or even the opportunity to commit crimes again.
And I bet most of those criminals were bullies in school.

My point here being that bullying should be stamped out. Whether in school, work or at home, bullying is not acceptable.
I don't know how bullying can be stamped out completely, but surely it can be worked on by teaching children from an early age that no matter what people look like or do, they are exactly the same as you.

Why can't everyone just get along and be nice to one another? Sit down, have a cup of tea, have a chat.

Case in point in the second documentary I watched called "Erasing Hate" about an ex neo-nazi skinhead who turned his life around, started a family and was getting his facial tattoos removed to clean up his life and start again. He found, what would have been an unlikely friend a few years earlier, a great friendin a black guy who works heavily for anti-racism.

If there's a new person in school or work, make them feel welcome. Say hi, give them the time of day. Even if they look different to you, you will probably find some form of common ground. Even if you don't like them after that, at least be civil... don't shout abuse, hit them, call them names or anything else. Just be polite.
People on the street are guilty of being absolute tools and not looking where they are walking and expecting everyone to move out of their way, not even thanking you for holding a door open for them.
Just smile, let them get on with their day, and be happy in the knowledge that you have helped someone out. Hopefully they will walk away thinking "They actually helped me and I never thanked them" but unfortunately, not everyone has a conscience.

So, for my parting thoughts, I'm going to leave on a positive note.

You only have one life, so make it a good one. Live a happy life, be happy with the family and friends you are granted with and make many more friends along the way. Think positive, stay positive and good things will happen. Everyone can strive for a more peaceful world and that all starts at home and with your inner self.
Take up yoga or Tai Chi or take time each day to meditate. Meditation doesn't need to be sitting down with your eyes closed for an hour humming to yourself... meditation can be simply taking five minutes out of your day to sit down and be grateful for all the things you have around you in your life.
Positive thinking draws positive energy.

And now here's a picture of a cute as hell pug to make you smile: